02 November 2016


What initially started as a week in November has since become a full month dedicated to the purpose of bringing awareness to children in foster care waiting for families.

Many organizations use this month to focus on community outreach and education. There are marches, walks, and events held. Last year, over 4,000 children across the U.S. were adopted on National Adoption Day.

In all of this, there is no shortage of stories to be shared. I've found that people love few things the way they love to hear adoption stories, but I urge you to pay attention to who the story is coming from.

When I speak and write about adoption, it is from my perspective; that of an adoptive parent. I cannot and will not share my childrens' stories, because they are not, nor will they ever be, mine to tell.

But they exist.

The stories of every single adoptee exist, and while you might never read or hear them, it would be foolish to think that the one-sided story you do hear is all there is to it.

All too often, adoptees are made to uphold the grateful adoptee narrative. It's unfair and caters to the comfort level of others who only want to see adoption as something positive. For many adoptees, it isn't always positive.

The Lost Daughters is a site that I am glad to be made aware of. It is written by adult adoptees and offers insight into the complexities and nuances of adoption that simply cannot be told from anyone other than those most affected.

Adoptees, children and adult, are the true voice of authority on what it means to be adopted. Adoptive parents, and anyone seeking to understand more about adoption, would do well to keep this at the forefront of our minds.

The Flip the Script initiative serves as a reminder that adoption professionals and adoptive parents are not the only voices in the dialogue. It's worth delving into.

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