23 March 2016


You know what to expect when your baby doesn't yet sleep through the night, right? I mean, perhaps in another post I can regale you with stories of all the nights I haven't slept- kept awake to feed and change and walk the floor for hours upon hours. I'm sure you've never heard anything like it.

Right now, though, let's talk about what happens when your baby does sleep, because you guys, for the past month now, my youngest has been clocking in around ten straight hours of sleep while it's dark out for the first time in his year and half of life.

I have dreamed of when this would become a reality for years.


I've had many nights to think about it- when I was pregnant and up with LB, when I was up with both babies, and the past several months, when I've been up with C. (Though, I have to add that Jason has always taken turns getting up with our babies. He doesn't breastfeed, obviously, but he's always split the parental duties in our house.)

Anyhow, it's fair to say I had built up a set of expectations for when this time finally came. Well, okay, one expectation, and that was to sleep.

I laugh now, because this is my third child and I should know better.

Here's what you need to know about when your baby sleeps through the night:

YOU MIGHT NOT SLEEP I don't mean this in a, "you're a parent so you'll never sleep again" sort of way. No, I mean this in a, "you finally have a chance to sleep but it's just not actually happening" way. Okay, so you might fall asleep. You might stay asleep for longer stretches than you were used to, but it's entirely possible you won't, for no good reason.

YOU WILL REMEMBER YOU ACTUALLY HAVE INSOMNIA Remember that prescription for Ambien you used to have to fill before you had kids? Ha. Though, it sounds pretty tempting right now.

YOU WILL REALIZE JUST HOW UNCOMFORTABLE YOUR MATTRESS IS Sure, it's like sleeping on a cloud when you're getting four hours of staggered sleep, max. When it's time for a decent stretch of uninterrupted shut-eye, though, your comfy cloud quickly becomes a slab of concrete.

SOMEONE ELSE WILL KEEP YOU UP You can count on your four-year-old to not get up once they're in bed for the night. Well, you could until the baby started sleeping.

YOU WILL GET SICK Despite your lack of sleep the last several months, you've managed to stay fairly healthy. That is, until the cough from hell settles in and doesn't leave for two weeks. I'm not sure what's worse: coughing so much you can't fall asleep, or falling asleep only to wake yourself up from coughing. Related: your spouse will develop the same cough and keep you up.

TEETHING You've just gotten settled into your new routine of not getting up with your baby, when, bam, new teeth decide to come in. You're torn between knowing (hoping) you'll get back to your newfound normal soon enough, and wondering if that short window of sleep was just a cruel joke.

Or, you know, you might be one of the lucky ones who actually get to sleep. (Maybe don't rub it in- ahem, humblebrag facebook post.)

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