25 February 2016


I stopped for a minute after buckling all three kids into their car seats (two being very opposed to the idea and one only slightly opposed); this, after a rather lengthy ordeal to even get shoes on and out of the house. You know, Thursdays.

As I stood at the driver's side door, not at all upset or really even bothered, I thought of the energy it took to even leave the house, drawing from an already exhausted reserve. Sleep is in short supply and should really be used sparingly. Have you heard?

I thought- and this really just came to me in that second, I mean, it wasn't even 9:00 A.M. yet, I was hardly in a state to do much pondering- what if we could feel every frustration, every bit of anguish and heartache and worry, every irritation all at the same time. What if we could feel every difficult and negative emotion we've gone through and are currently struggling with, while somehow being disconnected, without seeing just why we were feeling it. If you knew ten years ago that you would someday feel all that, without knowing the reason, would you continue down the same path?

I can't say that I would. Not without knowing that the joy and happiness is right there with it; not always outnumbering the hard moments, but undoubtedly outweighing them.

Conversely, if you could feel every positive emotion, every moment you thought your heart would burst, while again not being able to see just what it was that would bring you such joy, would you choose the same life path?

I would, without a doubt. If I knew the joy that was waiting for me, if I knew even a fraction of the happiness my children bring was accessible to me, I would go in ready to fight for it, no matter what I might be up against.

My thought process, clearly on a roll this A.M., snowballed into this:

When Christ knelt in Gethsemane, feeling the literal weight of the world's sin and anguish and devastation, did he see the intricacies of the whose and whys connected to each emotion?

It's possible, but I'm not entirely sure.

I believe, though, that Christ certainly knew of the joy that awaited as a result of his undertaking. He was firm in his unwavering devotion to an indescribable greater good.

We go through hurt and pain. Our earthly sorrow and struggle is sometimes prolonged and not always met with equal earthly joy. Sometimes, the thought of having to wait for eventual happiness while continually enduring hardship is a source of heartbreak in itself.

I thought about asking how we find our joy- if we seek after it, or if we wait for it. I think the more pertinent question, though, lies in how we help those among us who are hurting.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful thought Whitney. One thing that scares me about parenting is not knowing what the future holds for my children. Like Christ, I will still love them, but it would be heartbreaking. To have gone through minute, daily sacrifice to teach my kids to be good people. I hope they will accept my offering and ultimately Christ's offering in their lives.