25 January 2016


My four-year-old hates socks.

Possibly the only reason she wears them, and really, it's only on the days she goes to school, and only after I put them on her myself after a long discussion toward their merit, is because I don't really feel like getting a judgmental letter sent home on the off chance she ends up taking her shoes off during class, revealing that her mother let her go out with no socks on when it's thirty degrees out.

I mean, it's not that I care about the judgment. I'd just like to do what I can to make a good impression; one that says, I don't know, I don't let my kid get frostbite.

She was invited to a birthday party at a bowling alley recently. I knew the battle that would be had over needing to wear socks with bowling shoes and, judgment, shmudgment aside, you guys, I am not about to get into potential bowling shoe fungus.

So I decided to take her shopping for new socks with the idea being she's more likely to wear a pair she picked out herself. She chose a pack of My Little Pony socks. I am trying to stay strong to my no-characters on articles of clothing we wear out of the house, but my sock-hating kid chose a pair of socks willingly, so dangit, I bought them.

She had school the morning of the party. Given her new socks, I thought getting out the door would be easier than normal.

S: I'm not going to wear socks. I hate socks.
Me: You get to wear your new socks, though.
S: I'm not going to wear them... Okay, okay, I'll wear them.

She put her socks on and looked them over a few times while I grabbed her boots- the boots that are really the only shoes she has wanted to wear the past two weeks.

S: I love them! I really love them! Mom! Dad! I love socks now! WHAT?! No! I don't want to wear those boots!
Me: I thought you loved your boots.
S: No! I want to wear... umm... my sneakers- my white sneakers.

(Please note: Her white sneakers are a pair of Stan Smith adidas that I bought after she specifically requested sneakers like her brother and sister had. They both wear adidas sneaks, and so I thought that was a safe bet. After narrowing down options online, I showed her the pair I thought she would like. Turns out, she loved them. Until they actually arrived, and looked exactly like the picture online. She hated them and refused to wear them.)

Me: You want to wear your white sneakers?
S: Yes! I love them! And I love socks! I am starting to like all sorts of things now. Just not green beans.

Well, okay. Look at us making strides.

Though, after the party sock hating seemed to resume. So much so that S didn't so much as react when LB starting wearing her pony socks. I don't know about you, but in our house, the 4-year-old not caring that the 2-year-old is even touching her belongings is huge.

So much for strides.

Fast forward to the MLK march last week. Jason and I both stressed that she would need to wear socks with sneakers, to which she negotiated mightily. And so, in an effort to get out of the house, she left without socks. Picking my battles, here. And hoping she doesn't actually get frostbite.

The march itself went well. She rode on Jason's shoulders for maybe half a mile, and didn't complain once. Afterward, there was a shuttle to take everyone back to the starting point. As we walked from the shuttle to the parking lot, S began to cry, then sob. By the time we got to our van, she was sobbing that her feet were frozen and that she would never be able to walk again and WHY DID WE FORGET HER SOCKS?!

I took her boots off and put a pair of mittens on her feet to warm them. Through tears, she managed to say, "I am so silly to not wear socks."

Being the adult that I am, I did not say "I told you so," or anything of the sort. Instead, I asked if she thought she would wear socks next time she went out in the cold. She nodded seriously and I was convinced a lesson had been learned.

Until the next morning, when I had to put her socks on her for school because she refused.

Rinse, lather, repeat, y'all. Parenthood is something else.

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